Understanding and Reframing Borderline Personality Disorder
Many mental health conditions are misunderstood, and societal stigmas can prevent people from seeking the support they need. These misunderstandings can also perpetuate harmful misconceptions and biases, as is the case with borderline personality disorder (also known as BPD). In this article, we'll discuss borderline personality disorder, its common symptoms, and what loved ones should know.
At Boreal Therapy Collective, we help clients with emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal skills. Our practice is rooted in social justice and inclusivity - we embrace a non-pathological approach to offering emotional support and safety to our clients. All symptoms (even the ones that bring you distress) are treated with compassion and care.
Borderline Personality Disorder: A Brief Overview
Borderline personality disorder is a personality disorder characterized by unstable self-image, mood swings, and potentially self-destructive behaviours. It often overlaps with other mental health conditions including depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance misuse, and eating disorders.
While all personality disorders exist on a large spectrum, some of the specific symptoms of BPD include:
low self-worth and persistent feelings of internal emptiness
history of suicidal ideation and self-harming behaviour
tremendous fears of rejection and abandonment
history of intense and unstable relationships
difficulty acknowledging personal accountability in relationships
BPD symptoms tend to first emerge in adolescence or by early adulthood. Symptoms sometimes get better with age. However, BPD is a serious condition that can also worsen over time. Professional support can be an invaluable resource in navigating the complexities of this diagnosis.
Myths About Borderline Personality Disorder
Like any mental health condition, borderline personality disorder comes with its own stigma and misconceptions. It's important for individuals and their loved ones to be aware of these myths and their implications.
Here are some common myths about BPD:
There are no good or effective treatment options: While there are no cures for personality disorders, all mental health conditions are treatable. People can and do overcome their BPD symptoms and live meaningful, fulfilling lives. No matter how much you (or a loved one) is struggling, recovery is possible.
BPD is a 'woman's' condition: Research shows that women are more likely to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. However, many experts believe that BPD is overlooked in men and that sexism may actually play more of a role in these diagnostic sex differences. Women may show more internalizing behaviours (ruminating thoughts and obsessive thought patterns), whereas men may display more externalizing behaviours like aggression toward others or reckless driving.
You can't have a healthy relationship with someone with BPD: It is absolutely possible to have meaningful relationships. People with BPD often have high levels of empathy and attunement for others. They tend to be emotionally expressive and enjoy giving and receiving love. Regardless of any diagnosis, it's important to anchor yourself to your loved one's strengths and honour their inherent goodness.
People with borderline personality disorder are manipulative: Borderline personality disorder coincides with themes of mistrust and fear. This often drives intense emotions and can relate to dangerous behaviours. However, it's a misconception that people with BPD like or want to engage in these actions. Instead, they often feel desperate to secure a sense of closeness and safety with others. This speaks more to attachment wounding than anything else.
Borderline personality disorder makes people dangerous or reckless: No one condition makes people act in a certain way. Similarly, some people have more quiet presentations of BPD. They may struggle privately without others realizing the extent of what's going on.
What Should Loved Ones Know About Borderline Personality Disorder?
Unfortunately, borderline personality disorder symptoms can significantly affect attachment within relationships. Sometimes loved ones feel like they're "walking on eggshells," and they may worry about getting in trouble for saying or doing the wrong thing. If that's the case, here are some important reminders to consider:
You're allowed to set firm boundaries: Healthy relationships require identifying and setting healthy boundaries, and this is true when navigating any mental illness. Let your loved one know what you will and will not condone; you should never feel obligated to accept any form of abuse.
You should take any suicidal threats seriously: Loved ones sometimes overlook suicidal behaviour when it feels chronic or “attention-seeking.” However, research shows that up to 10% of individuals with BPD do complete suicide, and 70% attempt to end their lives. Therefore, it's important to take all threats seriously.
Treatment may be long-term: Because BPD symptoms can pervasively impact many areas of functioning, successful recovery often entails long-term treatment. Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based treatment that teaches interpersonal effectiveness, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance skills. We offer this modality within our practice.
Trauma therapy may be beneficial: Many mental health experts perceive BPD as an attachment disorder. Therefore, identifying and resolving trauma symptoms can subsequently improve relationships and self-image. They can also reduce self-destructive behaviours. EMDR, in particular, may be helpful for achieving profound trauma symptom relief.
Family therapy may also be recommended: Family members can play a vital role in offering support for individuals with BPD. If you need specific tools about what to do (and what not to do), one of our family therapists will be able to guide you.
Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder symptoms can worsen in intensity and frequency without proper care and intervention. If you or a loved one is struggling, professional treatment can help. At Boreal Therapy Collective, we are passionate about destigmatizing mental illness.
Our therapists treat BPD as well as other attachment-related concerns, including complex trauma, developmental trauma, and emotional neglect. No matter how big or scary your emotions feel, you are not alone, and you can experience relief.
If you're looking to get started, contact us here to schedule an initial assessment.
